but we had finally made it to the moment we had come for...
It had been a fun week in China visiting friends in Hangzhou, spending time in Beijing sightseeing with my parents, a little excitement of missing Shawn at the airport when he flew in to join us and he spent the night
with friends he met on the airport at their hotel. We had arrived at the apartment the night before and had much of the day to get settled, but we had finally made it to the moment we had come for...
Two years ago in my friend's apartment in Xian, we met this little man and I became mommy to our 4th treasure.
Tonight as I sit here and think about that first meeting, tears flow. For 9 months, we had stared at pictures of him, gotten a few brief updates and poured our hearts out to the Lord on his behalf. We had dreamed of this moment, prayed for this moment and longed for it. Finally, the moment had come...
I clearly remember the other 3 kids so excited, anticipating meeting their brother, waiting to hear the door bell ring and then knowing that my son was on the other side. The next several minutes are a bit of a blur in my memory, but what stands out is how scared this tiny boy, my son, looked... everything that he had ever known was gone. His friends, the nannies who had cared for him, the 4 walls of his orphanage bedroom, his crib... things that were all part of life as he knew it. He was young and couldn't understand, but he was also very brave...
I remember the moment when I finally got to hold my son. Tears flowed then as well. I remember thinking that he was much smaller than I expected... I remember feeling his little body tremble... I remember the look in his eyes. Those eyes were full of questions and I couldn't answer them with words. All I could do was hold him and try to comfort him.
The next few hours, he was so quiet. No tears, just wide eyes taking it all in. He watched the other kids, accepted a sucker from his daddy and played with toys. The only word we could understand was "mama." He wasn't referring to me, he had no idea what a "mama" really was, that was what he called the blanket we had sent him in a care package.
Later near bed time, the tears came in a flood as they did for many nights to follow. As I think back on the road we have been on in the 2 years we have been a family, I reminded again and again of this scripture...
but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5
The next morning, we did see moments of joy, smiles and laughter... but there was a lot of sadness and grief as well. I wouldn't trade the world for it all, the rough road has taught me much as a mama and joy has come with it. Nate has grown and changed, time is healing his heart and he's learned what it means to have a daddy, a mommy and a family.

For those of you who know our story of bringing Nate home, you know that it was a long and winding road. Many things did not go as planned and it seemed to take forever to get to China. It wasn't my timing, but in hind sight, we see each day that it was His and we see and are reminded of the blessings that resulted in His perfect plan. We are so thankful for the families that we got to meet while we were in China and watch their lives be changed by their children as well.
How blessed I am to hear the laughter of our children echo through the house. How thankful I am that God chose to adopt me as His child and brought adoption to our hearts and then that He called us to grow our family through adoption.
I am thankful that two of my children are no longer orphans but my heart aches for those who wait not having a family to all their own. Around the world, so many children go to bed each night alone, maybe not literally alone but without a family to call their own.
God heart is love, I am thankful that He loves each of us and that He loves the orphan and the widow. He also calls us to care for them and it looks different for different people... Is He calling you to make a difference?
He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing. Deuteronomy 10:18
I can tell you that your life will forever be changed!
Nate, my sweet son, I am so thankful for the last 2 years that you have been in our arms and part of our family. I am also thankful for the 9 months that you grew in our hearts as we waited for you to come home. God is molding you and shaping you, I know He has great plans for you son. I am thankful today that God chose me to be your mama.
Happy Family Day Nate!